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## Invest in your growth.  **Defy the Status quo.** Expand your potential.


Learn more about coaching

An investment banker turned CEO/Co-Founder of [Native Shoes](https://www.nativeshoes.com/ca/), Scott Hawthorn, ditched a 10-year career to pursue more creative ways to build a life. He successfully opened a wine bar, and a multi-national shoe brand with heart, soul, and sole.

Beyond his entrepreneurial success, what we respect so deeply about Scott isn’t *just* his business acumen - but his vulnerability and path to self-discovery. 

His story of learning about himself defies most ‘executive’ trajectories into self-awareness. Mostly because it was about **his growth as a person, first, and then as a business leader.**

Scott’s story, told by him here:

## The reluctant introspective.

I moved to Japan right after university. What was an openness to experiencing a new country turned into a 10-year stint immersed in a new culture, different architecture, design, food, and fashion. It was sensory overload; I was exposed to things I had never seen before, let alone had an appreciation for. 

Coming back to Canada, I launched into a passionate discovery of the creative side of my brain. I was inspired and incensed by all I had seen and learned while living abroad - yet in a new territory. 

And, growing up in a family with an engineer father and a math teaching mother, my creative confidence needed some exercising. 

Entrepreneurship seemed to come naturally. I opened a restaurant and then later, a shoe company. Both experiences provided me rich opportunities to grow; some that I was very aware of and others that I could only see in hindsight.

But it wasn’t the lessons of entrepreneurship that sparked my curiosity to discovery self; **it was a wakeup call that came from a relationship ending.**

I found myself in a new group of friends that sparked my interest. They seemed to have a different level of consciousness: they spoke a different language, were incredibly open-minded and didn’t seem to judge others. I was fascinated by it all. 

And so, when a friend sent around an email introducing a coach they knew and some insight into what kind of work they did, I was fast to respond with a yes.

Enter conflict...and discomfort.

Opening up to coaching was like turning on a fire hose; the understanding of myself came fast and hard. I found myself functioning from a new level of awareness and a fresh perspective.

I started seeing ways that I was the biggest thing that was holding back my progress or growth. I began to realize the power I used to look for on the outside exists on the inside - and that it exists for and inside everyone.  I had completely new lenses to see the world—and myself—through. And the insights in my personal life kept on coming.

Seeing the way it could impact my professional life? That came through conflict - when Native Shoes became insolvent in 2012. Navigating challenging conversations with the other founder, I realized how uncomfortable conflict made me - and how I didn’t want to feel that way.

Making the choice to save the company also turned out to be an opportunity to use that experience as a classroom to deal with my relationship with conflict - and having a coach support me through that challenge made a massive difference. 

I can’t count the lessons that came of that experience on both my hands and feet. Or quantify how valuable having a coach was in surviving and thriving, through that time. 

But something that struck me was realizing how the things I pointed fingers at before as the ‘problems’ weren’t the problems at all. **It was me. I was the one in my own way. **

And it was incredibly empowering to find that in oneself are all the answers; that there’s empowerment in knowing yourself. And when you get out of everyone else’s business, you get to intimately know your own business. Which totally changed the way I lead, and how I encourage others to explore and lead themselves.

## From personal to (total) business empowerment

What was a personal exploration encouraged by friends has become a way of life...and business. 

Coaching and self-awareness practices at Native Shoes empower each individual and the collective. And, they’re available to everyone, at every level of leadership.

Why? Well, ‘choosing’ who gets access to supported self-discovery doesn’t make sense to me. It’s a wonderful surprise to see who the navel-gazing lands with - and what change it creates in their lives. 

Democratizing coaching and self-development means having an empowered team in every direction - and we’ve only seen it help the business grow and thrive through all life has to offer them.

Because the human experience is way more complex than I ever thought it would be. And having a partner in crime in navigating it—from the glaring opportunities to the subtle spots—has offered me tools to make life’s complexities more enjoyable. 

A gift and experience I am proud to pass on to whoever I can.

*PS - If you've read this piece and think coaching is something you'd like to try, [start for free here](https://sphere.guide/how-it-works#trial). We will not auto-enrol you. Have your first time sessions for free with any coach. When you're ready you can explore our memberships.*


How self-discovery through coaching changed the way Scott Hawthorn, founder of Native Shoes, does business.

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Self-Exploration Became A Business Strategy.

https://images-cdn.sphereishere.com/scott-hawthorn-website.mp4

Welcome to the *Fireside Chats *- brand new series from Sphere Guidance. 

Get to know Sphere Guides and learn about coaching topics such as leadership, creativity, having tough conversations, and so much more.

We’re kicking off this series by talking to [Louise Lee](https://sphere.guide/profile/646), an expert ICF-Certified transformational leadership and life coach. Within 2 years of starting her career in England, Louise's powers over team dysfunction were recognized and she quickly ascended the ranks through leadership and management roles. By age 30, she had completely transformed her flailing department of 60 people and saved her company $6M. Louise has over 15 years of manager-level and director-level leadership experience. She has taught and coached professionals and creatives in project management, leadership, and team-working skills for over a decade.

Listen to the 20-minute conversation here, or scroll down for interview highlights.

<iframe width="640" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/xvt5_r8ZaqU" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
  

### Insight #1

**If you're feeling lonely as a leader, you're probably doing it wrong.**

It doesn't have to be lonely. Here's why: once you realize leadership is not just about the self, it's about realizing the potential of your team and others around you, you can take all that amazing energy and turn it outwards.

You can start to see each of your team members not as problems but as human beings with their own ideas and potentials. Once you switch from a problem-solving mindset to a curious, learning mindset, it takes the pressure off.

### **Insight #2**

**The one foundational way to increase your confidence as a leader.**

Are you experiencing Imposter Syndrome, having trouble making decisions, or finding that you are doing *everything*? As a leader, you might feel insecure about your ability to lead, which has everything to do with confidence.

The first step is to raise your awareness of the quality of your self-talk. Notice if it's nice or mean, helpful or self-sabotaging. Once we realize that our internal dialogue isn't beneficial, we can actively seek to change it, but we must be aware of it first.

### **Insight #3**

**Use the confidence-competence loop to your advantage and start building momentum.**

The concept is simple: your confidence increases when your competence goes up. It's like strengthening your muscles at the gym or learning a new skill. Many of us feel fearful because we don't have competence - but this just leads to inaction.

Although it seems counterintuitive, taking action (even if you don't feel fully competent) will get you feeling more confident. Use that momentum to feed the confidence-competence loop until you feel both confident and competent!

## Rapid Fire Round

### A book that changed your life

"*[The Untethered Soul](https://untetheredsoul.com/untethered-soul)* by Michael A. Singer. It's not [long], but it goes deep. This is a book that is worth reading and rereading. If you want to take some time and start to nurture yourself and really figure out who you are, I recommend this book."

### An exercise you come back to again and again

"A simple acronym THINK helps you ask questions when you're not feeling great about a situation or thought.

**True** - Is it true?

**Helpful:** Is this helpful?

**Inspiring** - Is this inspiring?

**Helpful:** Is this helpful?

**Kind** - Is this kind?

If you roll yourself through those five, you might be able to get out of the situation."

### A question to leave our listeners with

*"If you already had all the love, approval, and validation in the world, how would you do what you're about to do differently?"*

---

Feeling inspired? You can chat with [Louise for free on the Sphere app](https://sphere.guide/profile/646). Reach out to support@sphere.guide for any questions.


Get to know Sphere Guides and learn about coaching topics such as leadership, creativity, having tough conversations, and so much more.

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Introducing a New Series: Guide Fireside Chats

*Should I work with a Coach or Therapist? What’s the difference between coaching and therapy? How do I pick? And does it even matter?*

All the distinctions between the various coaching and mental health professionals can make you go cross-eyed 🤪. Between their education, their degrees, their certifications, their titles and the letters after their last name, or the letters on their LinkedIn *(What do PPC or ACC mean again?)* — it can be exceptionally confusing. Let alone talking about the nuances between [a life coach](https://sphere.guide/life-coach), [a business coach](https://sphere.guide/business-coach) and [a leadership coach](https://sphere.guide/leadership-coach). Or the differences between a psychotherapist, a therapist and a clinical counsellor.

Before we dive into the differences, let’s talk about **the similarities**.

- Both coaches and therapists are trained professionals with a goal to help their clients
- Though the term coach gets thrown around loosely these days, like therapists, true credentialed coaches are trained & deeply experienced professionals 
- Like therapy, coaching can feel therapeutic. You can get a release, feel a sense of calm and it can reduce stress 
- You pay for their professional services in order to learn about yourself, better yourself and improve your quality of life. Unlike a much more casual [mentorship relationship](https://sphere.guide/)

Now, **the differences:**

- A therapists purpose is to serve as your Mental Health Care Practitioner
- Therapy (psychotherapy) and counselling tend to treat a problem. Therapy helps you understand or uncover a traumatic past experience that is influencing their life and livelihood
- Therapy is often treatment based in a response to a diagnosable mental health issue. Think depression, bi-polar disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, adjustment disorder, etc. It is often in-depth and can be used in conjunction with medication
- Therapy has been around *a lot *longer than coaching. Coaching as an industry was formalized about 40 years ago and is *now* hitting its stride. Coaching is scientifically understood and a proven resource for introspection and personal & professional growth
- That being said, as a profession in its infancy, the coaching industry is highly unregulated. This makes vetting coaches on your own more difficult* (psst - [let us help](https://sphere.guide/talk-to-us))*. Therapist have required education, a minimum requirement of supervised practice, a licensing board and governing body.

Generally, therapy is focused on problems rooted in the past to restore health in the present. Whereas coaching is action-orientated, as well as both present and future-focused. 

> Therapy takes someone from negative to zero or neutral. Coaching takes someone from zero to positive, or increases already positive development. 

Therapy is a vehicle to restore health. Coaching is a vehicle for growth in all areas of life. Therapists work with the unconscious mind; Coaches work with the conscious mind.

## While Coaching and Therapy are distinctly different, there are professional overlaps.

Like in any profession, someone can be trained in multiple disciplines. In fact, many therapists and counsellors, have sought out coaching training and certification. 

Working in this space for over a decade, I have witnessed an increasing trend in professionals moving from what we call **'reactive care', to 'proactive wellbeing' **modalities like coaching.

As our Coaching Ecosystem grows, we see an increasing amount of certified coaches come to Sphere who were previously trained and working as therapists or counsellors. Coaches like [Beth](https://sphere.guide/profile/636), [Ranbir](https://sphere.guide/profile/655), [Kiran](https://sphere.guide/profile/619) and [Kevin](https://sphere.guide/profile/1058).

This layering of training and experience gives these professionals depth, range and even deeper insights that benefit them in their coaching work.

Our goal in exploring this here is to help you make an informed decision between the many professionals capable of helping you.** Both a therapist and a coach have the potential to be effective. **

This is why some people have both a therapist and a coach. **Lives are a medley of healing and perseverance. **I think in some cases people are called to therapy because they have heard that "it's a great way to understand yourself". Coaching can do that too. Therapy is typically a resource if you need to heal and understand something so you can return to a healthy baseline. If you want something more future-facing & action-orientated, coaching might be a better option. 

Overall, our intent isn’t to tell you, *“If you’re dealing with X, you should seek out a Y.”* Because quite frankly, it's up to you to determine. 

At [Sphere](https://sphere.guide/), though we have many Guides who are both trained therapists and coaches, we specialize in offering coaching experiences and are definitive about what that means.

If you believe you are in need of medical support, a prescription or diagnosis, Sphere is **not** the appropriate support system. Please contact your doctor or mental health care practitioner, or if you are in crisis call your local emergency services.  

*PS - If you've read this piece and think coaching is something you'd like to try, [start for free here](https://sphere.guide/how-it-works#trial). We will not auto-enrol you. Have your first time sessions for free with any coach. When you're ready you can explore our memberships.*


Should I work with a Coach or Therapist? What’s the difference between coaching and therapy? How do I pick? And does it even matter?

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How Do I Decide Between Seeing a Coach or a Therapist?

When I was four years old, my family emigrated from Korea and settled in Montreal, Canada. Despite my proficiency in English, French was actually my second language, and while I picked it up quickly, I still stood out among my primarily Caucasian peers. 

At age eight my family moved once more to a suburb of Vancouver where I finished my elementary and high school studies. I was a shy kid, and my parents tended to shelter me from the world, so I grew scared of stepping out of my comfort zone.

**I wanted nothing more than to fit in**, so rather than risk bringing any attention to myself, I did what I could to blend. I figured out that if I wore the right clothes I would be accepted—or at least the version of myself that I presented would be accepted. It wasn’t until many years later that this self-betrayal would catch up to me.

## Freedom out of failure

After graduation I did what many kids of immigrant parents do: I went to university to pursue a career in science. 

Unfortunately, this was my parents’ wish for me, and not what I wanted for myself. As you can imagine, my lack of desire to be there, combined with a sudden dose of personal freedom did not bode well for my studies. **I failed out of second year**, withdrew, and found a job working at a clothing boutique where I quickly became store buyer and manager. 

> **"**This was one of the best things that could have happened to me."

Working in management meant many meals at restaurants I’d never been to, trying cuisines I hadn’t been exposed to. It was during this time I discovered my love of food—and not just the tastes and flavors, but the experiential factor that accompanies dining. 

I became obsessed with cooking. I read book after book, trying out new techniques and dishes every night. It was clear I had found my passion, but I wasn’t quite ready for it to be anything more than an all-consuming hobby. 

## A degree in self-discovery

I returned to university with a much clearer sense of my interests and inclinations, shifting my focus away from physical science and toward economics, psychology, and sociology. The knowledge I acquired not only helped me understand others better but also myself. 

Developmental psychology, for example, helped me identify why I had attachment issues, and sociology popped my proverbial suburban bubble, teaching me to look beyond the face value of things. These years fast-tracked my personal development and self-awareness, and equipped me with the tools necessary to notice and thus change my behavioral patterns. 

I began digging deeper into what fulfillment and happiness meant to me and discovered I wouldn’t find it in the material world, so I ditched my plan to take on the fashion industry and dove headfirst into cooking. 

As a student of psychology, I was aware of the risk I was taking. Turning a hobby into a career can be a gamble, and I didn’t know if I would still love it with the same intensity once it became my job. Fortunately, it paid off, and soon these amazing people and companies I admired were reaching out to me, asking to collaborate or to hire me for their events. 

My services were in demand, and I was busy. **So busy that the self-care habits I’d developed and the self-discovery work I’d been doing took a backseat to 15-hour days** in the kitchen. It was the perfect recipe for disaster.
![](https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/eaRf6N8w__wYzZxzKTGloMGUwUoeCnILu5F_2YNCWGur9oiOHGPJfviKVJ6WrzatGW0hLGCvab5psk60yuRAPxeAhX8x0_sopE5jCA_NtEB8Pqy11huGAEplLKe_2kNOk4fp578h)
## Finding light in the darkness

Although I had the knowledge to explain my challenges with stress management and anxiety, I lacked the skills to address them. Instead, I leaned on vices, but that would only sustain me for so long, and in 2017 after five years of constantly pushing myself beyond my limits I collapsed. 

Sitting on my couch, feeling burnt out and hopeless, I made a vow to myself that I would never again enter a commercial kitchen. It was during this dark time that I discovered Sphere. 

I met with two coaches—one whose approach really resonated with me. **She helped me get in tune with my body in order to recognize my stress responses and come up with intelligent and intentional ways of working with them. **

I learned about the nervous system and the importance of the parasympathetic system for recovery and rejuvenation. I had a real lightbulb moment when I realized that spending 15 hours in the kitchen wouldn’t actually help me to thrive in the kitchen. Instead, I needed to dedicate a large portion of that time to my health and wellbeing.
![](https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/VULgps0_Ys2YfbMKQjsnXziHPyynKa6w5QXNJO2_tAyfmTnRSgtozfIWJRMv2YVmhQm-vT_aS6IE-fZuLJvnP1WAdtUef0yIdqzdqo0sbjdBfoTU5w7rPOkPfz9UoPboubJxC3qL)
## The power of intentional self-care

Working with a coach provided me with clarity, especially during such a dark time in my life. Two years later and I’m still using the 5-5-7 breath my coach taught me. It allows me to access a quiet place in my mind, which when combined with the breathwork itself, eases me into a lasting relaxed state. 

The work I’ve done over the past year and a half has helped to prepare me for the next stage in my career and my life. I am transitioning from chef to entrepreneur—with a catering company, food styling company, digital marketing and photo business, and a fourth venture in the works. And that sounds busy, but I’m feeling more optimistic and balanced than ever. 

I think coaching is a great tool for developing agility and resilience—something I think we’ll all need in spades as the world continues to change and evolve. 
Being human means experiencing hardships and challenges, and **being a highly functioning adult means identifying when we need support so we can continue moving forward in a healthy, intentional way.**

*PS - If you've read this piece and think coaching is something you'd like to try, *[start for free here](https://sphere.guide/how-it-works#trial). We will not auto-enrol you. Have your first time sessions for free with any coach. When you're ready you can explore our memberships.


How this overworked chef prioritized self-care and still managed to rise to success

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The Overworked Chef Who Prioritized Self-Discovery and Succeeded.

Juno Kim - 720.mp4

![image of three antelopes](/uploads/dev_s_dispatch_antelope_d0b244b1cf.png)
I walked out of [church](https://www.banyen.com/?ct=tEMAIL_CAMPAIGN_11_5_2021_15_27_COPY_01&amp;mc_cid=85a5e304eb&amp;mc_eid=UNIQID). **My place of refuge and inspiration.**

I’d been there experiencing materials by Graham Hancock. Examinations of prehistoric caves and rock shelters in France, Spain and Italy. Reflections from journeys with Ayahuasca in the presence of Shamans. Contemplations, call them obscure or not, on human evolution. His work challenges me to be flexible in all that I think I know. And after more than two extremely challenging years for humanity, I have come to appreciate this greatly.

![n-recognizing-that-we-don-t-have-the-all-answers--nor-are-we-supposed-to--we-create-space-for-humanity--questioning--and-consciousness](/uploads/dev_s_dispatch_quote1_1252804889.png)

Anyhow my friend Ana (a talented sound bath healer, tarot card reader and hair-stylist - how modern right?) and I slid into my truck and turned the music up. I suspect it was playing Wildfires by SAULT [since that’s a regular on my playlists](https://open.spotify.com/user/jihw9xt0bnr00jqonrr65j6i3?si=a0ca7b7bb8ca424e&amp;ct=tEMAIL_CAMPAIGN_11_5_2021_15_27_COPY_01&amp;mc_cid=85a5e304eb&amp;mc_eid=UNIQI).

It was around 3:30 pm so Vancouver’s 4th ave was packed. I looked over my shoulder and signalled left. I locked eyes with a man who had pulled up beside, and just behind, me. I gestured to him, gently waving my hands, ‘you first or me?’. He sat there, expressionless, and did nothing. I waved thank you and proceeded ahead of him.

Our next stop was [the crystal store with the red door](https://www.yelp.ca/biz/amethyst-creations-vancouver?ct=tEMAIL_CAMPAIGN_11_5_2021_15_27_COPY_01&amp;mc_cid=85a5e304eb&amp;mc_eid=UNIQID).

![image of gems](/uploads/dev_s_dispatch_gems_73216cfe3c.png)

Ana was commenting to me how she’s found that people are tightly wound right now. I agreed. She said, in her fabulous Mexican-Spanish accent, ‘it seems that people - *how do you say -* just eh-snap?!’ ‘like **there is no time between the thing, their feeling, and their reaction. It is all one.’

‘So scary’ Ana said.

It was then that I heard a deep fast rumble accelerating towards us. I looked to my left. It was the man who had pulled up beside me, in his dark blue-black van. He stared, in a manner that can only be described as distinctly Cruella-like. And swerved left and then a hard right, towards us. In an instant, I realized he was trying to ram me off the road. I looked right to the curb to make sure there was no one on it and ducked us out of his way. Then he took my place on the road and hurtled past us. Only, of course, to end up beside us at the next light. His van had ‘bacne’ (yes, bumps-and-divots-all-over-it). This was not his first rodeo.

Listen. There were many reasons for me to be upset, angry, bewildered and even scared. But that felt too obvious. Too easy even.

I looked at him in his bacne Van. Put my hands in 🙏

—  and said softly but loudly ‘peace be upon you Sir’ with a goofy-happy-go-lucky smile on my face. And, I meant it.

I thought of a principle that has guided me since I was 18.

You are not always responsible for what happens to you, but you are responsible for how you choose to respond to what happens to you.
![how-we-respond-shapes-our-lives-even-more-than-what-happens-to-us](/uploads/dev_s_dispatch_quote2_9b813ccb37.png)

What I would give to have that driver's address and send that complex human a gorgeous craft-paper care package and [a year of coaching](https://gifts.sphere.guide/?ct=tEMAIL_CAMPAIGN_11_5_2021_15_27_COPY_01&amp;mc_cid=85a5e304eb&amp;mc_eid=UNIQID).

There is a famous quote that suggests love is a noun like a struggle. Not a perfect state of caring, but accepting a person as they are, here and now.

We don’t have a deficit of valentines-day-marketing love. Or even real *deep* love in our hearts. Though, it is my experience that we have a deficit of Love as a Value. A Belief. An Expression. An Embodiment. An Action. A Choice.

And if being a business person has taught anything, it’s that wherever there is a deficit there is an opportunity.

Also, these are my favourite emojis right now 🐅 🔵 ❤️‍🔥

May you enjoy them,

[Dev](https://www.instagram.com/devsdevelopment/?hl=en&amp;ct=tEMAIL_CAMPAIGN_11_5_2021_15_27_COPY_01&amp;mc_cid=85a5e304eb&amp;mc_eid=UNIQID)


In recognizing that we don’t have the all answers, nor are we supposed to, we create space for humanity, questioning, and consciousness.

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Dev’s Dispatch: like Fergie said, ‘Where is the love’?

Every Coach is different.

I'm reclining here on the sofa after a long meandering walk across the city. A custom made peanut butter ice cream sandwich sits lonely in the freezer calling my name. What can I say? I like treating myself after some exercise.

But the reason I took a walk was not to indulge in the said sandwich but to decompress. I needed to detach from the latest conversation with my coach — and becoming a flâneur was my simple strategy.

My coach doesn't mess about — when I get stuck in the muck, he pins me there. He then generously and generatively probes to help reveal a deeper truth.

Finding a coach that's right for you takes work. And once you do, the real work begins. I believe there are many great coaches out there for you that would be a strong fit. I don't believe there's such a thing as the perfect coach. Nor the perfect anything for that matter.

And with that, here some of the other qualities I look for in a great coach:

## Can Easily Zoom in and Out

It's important to me that a coach can take a macro view and that we can have philosophical inquiries. It's equally important that they can bring this back and contextualize it with what I'm currently experiencing.

For example, we all have inner voices. You know the one that tells you not to swerve into oncoming traffic. This little bugger weasels and winds its way throughout your waking days.

The voice shows up in a myriad of incarnations, but for me it is always a dude. Sometimes he's the inner critic — and from time to time, he promotes himself to the critic of the inner critic. In other instances, he adopts a pom-pom wielding cheerleader to combat that nasty egghead. And he can turn up as the ingratiator — at times useful but more often as an embellished mask for insecurity.

If you're anything like me, your little chirper rarely shuts up. My coach not only helps label these voices but understand when they serve and when they inhibit me. I work on giving them plenty of room for naps. But like you, Eckhart Tolle, Oprah, and even the Dalai Lama — we all have'em and can learn to tame them.

Whether whispering or screaming, taking on a British twang or a Southern drawl —internalizing my external speech helps me explain myself to myself. My coach just happens to be going along for the ride.

## Makes Me Feel Accountable to Myself

This is a funny one, as I don't want my coach to make me feel accountable to them. I want them to help me reveal those things that I fail to see or have yet to awaken to. It's then up to me do decide what action I will take and share.

What a great coach won't let me do is mistake our sessions for doing The Damn Work. Believe me, I have no problem mixing up talking for transformation. Plus I'm fond of hearing my own voice. But it's important that my coach is supportive of my growth and can call me out on my own bullshit.

So this means if it's a writing exercise, clearing, meditation, or some other modality — I now do it. Because like so many things in life, you get out what you put in.

> It takes time to find a coach, that's why at Sphere your first sessions are free. Giving you all the time you need to meet with as many Guides as you need. You only start your membership when you find a Guide that's right for you. [Start for free](http://https://sphere.guide/how-it-works#trial).

## Possess Superior Reframing Abilities

*A* coach should be able to ask powerful questions because this is how things get unlocked. The more discerning and inquisitive the coach, the more I experience depth. And this is super important to me.

Most recently, I have been pondering an age-old question with my coach: 'What is the good life?'. There never seems to be any urgency to come to an answer but more of this expansive space for generous inquiry. And should I come up with anything noteworthy, I'll be certain to share it with you.

The point I think is not to land on *the answer* as much as it is to go on a journey to reveal what the good life could mean to me. It's this framing and reframing that I find so effective in my coaching sessions.

## Meets Me Where I Am But Provokes Me to Go Further

Coaches love to say that they will meet you where you're at. And I think this is an excellent place to start. Still, it took me too long to really appreciate that *Becoming *is better than *Being.*

I want to feel a sense of progress and that I'm being stretched. And in any given session, it's a very fine line between meeting me where I'm at and pushing me too far.

When I do feel resentment towards my coach (or another quality I label negative) I never retreat. Instead, I tell him. His response is never judgy but always gentle and curious. It encourages me to be the same with him and the Seekers I guide. We all move through the ickiness *together.*

![images of the mountains at night](/uploads/eberhard_grossgasteiger_cs0s_K0gzq_CU_unsplash_983e307af2.jpeg)

## Instills Both Lightness and Heaviness

My coach and I joke that he's like Drano for the soul. I typically come out of our sessions fatigued — mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically exhausted.

But I believe there is a reason for this. At this stage in my life, I want somebody who can make me feel heavy. As a generally happy-go-lucky person, it's rare that I am down in the dumps, and I believe it's important to regulate the highs. While life may be mysterious, what's not is that I will feel something deeply after a session with my coach. And days or even weeks later, a feeling will creep up on me, and to my surprise, I'll be hungry for more.

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These are qualities that I'm searching for in a coach. Indeed many of those who could benefit from a professional coach simply can't afford it. And this is one of the reasons why Sphere is so wonderful in making the magic more accessible.

While you might share some sentiments of what I look for in a coach you have a different set of criteria. The important thing is to get clear on what you're looking for so that when you see it, well, you just know.

Now excuse me, I have an ice-cream sandwich to attend to…

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*It takes time to find a coach, that's why at Sphere your first sessions are free. So sit back, relax and meet with as many Guides as you need. You only start your membership when you find a Guide that's right for you. *[*Start for free now*](https://sphere.guide/how-it-works#trial)*.*

*My new book SHAPERS is out now. If you buy a copy *[*here *](https://www.amazon.ca/Shapers-Moving-New-World-Work/dp/1119659043/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&amp;keywords=shapers+jonas+altman&amp;qid=1594679580&amp;s=books&amp;sr=1-1)*on or before then you'll get a 1-hour free coaching session with me on the *[*Sphere App*](https://sphere.guide/profile/1590)*.*


Finding a coach that’s right for you takes work. And once you do, the real work begins.